Relationships on mantou's blog

Getting everything ready

Mon, 25 May 2026 00:00:00 +0800

After waking up today, I finally woke up, so I got up and washed up, then went to Sam’s Supermarket for a walk. There was no purpose, I just really wanted to go in my heart, and then I went. Later, I had dinner with my friends and went out for a stroll. I also took advantage of being with everyone to express my inner thoughts and share them with them. Many of my ideas did feel better after I expressed them. However, there are still some things that are still sinking in my heart, and I cannot really solve them through expression and communication, so I can only digest them slowly by myself. For example, I’m tired of doing things based on other people’s faces at work, but this seems to be somewhat unavoidable. For example, even though you are clearly taking a break, they insist on letting you continue working. If you rest, they will make your rest extremely unpleasant. So the initiative and enthusiasm that I had finally cultivated were extinguished time and time again. So how can I make something like this disappear or be solved by expressing it?

A day in the rain

Thu, 21 May 2026 00:00:00 +0800

It was almost midnight last night 12 when I received a video call invitation from my college teacher. I picked up the conversation with some confusion and curiosity, and from then on, we chatted for almost an hour before hanging up. There’s nothing important to say, it’s more about the teacher’s concern and care. When he saw me today, he couldn’t help but think of his past. Knowing that it is not easy, I thought of communicating with me more to relieve the pressure that I may have or already have.

Others are mirrors

Fri, 15 May 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Today has been quite urgent and rushed, and I don’t like this feeling. But when I think about it more carefully, I realize that the reason why I feel this way is because there are too many things and they are too complicated. I couldn’t take care of myself and had to take care of other people’s affairs. As a result, I didn’t finish my own affairs and almost missed the last train. But I will recall that the recipient who has been complaining that he has not done well is not the current self or the past tense self? I was patient and furious with the careless person across from me. I am patient because I am really helping the other person, and angry because the other person is not only wasting his time, but also wasting my time. So I couldn’t help but have a more comprehensive understanding of my past self, and I began to understand my leader and boss better, and I began to hate my past self even more for not being motivated and often lazy.

5.3

Sun, 03 May 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Today is a day off, and I can say that I have done a lot of things that can be done today. I met with more than ten friends and shared my work experience and feelings. While my own work is important, I think theirs is more important.

So, I haven’t had time to record it until now.

More specific follow-up work

Wed, 15 Apr 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Today’s work is concrete and the information is detailed. Today I made some necessary sharing and exchanges about some of my investment operations. As a result, a lot of my content has become extremely serious and cautious, just like dancing ballet on a high-altitude tightrope, every step is cautious and every step needs to be perfect. In fact, today’s sharing is nothing, and I have not prepared anything. It is more like a casual external display, which is more perfunctory and relatively frivolous.

Recording loneliness, talking to myself

Sun, 08 Mar 2026 00:00:00 +0800

Zifang went home this afternoon, ending his two-day short stay at my house. Then not long after he left, another friend of mine also went back after having dinner with me…

As I write this, my sense of isolation and loneliness has dissipated a lot. It seems that this has something to do with the action of starting to code, right? But what I want to say more is that I have actually experienced such a scene countless times. But in this aspect, I just seem to be extremely uncomfortable. No matter how many times I’ve experienced such separations, my emotions start to spiral wildly within the first few hours of their departure. I can’t tell what the taste is, but it just feels so uncomfortable in my stomach that I can’t describe it. Then watch them leave lovingly as they leave…

Long live friendship: a little gift that moved me

Sun, 01 Feb 2026 23:01:01 +0800

Life without friends must be dull. That thought has been with me for the past six months, and its voice keeps getting louder.

I still remember how little of a social life I had during my four years at university. Whenever I had time, I went to the library and stayed all day. When I felt particularly bottled up, I would work through my WeChat contacts, “bothering” friends one by one and asking them to talk. Over time, that did not work out very well. I often reached out only when I needed somewhere to put my feelings, and I think they began to find it tiring. Perhaps I chose bad moments. Perhaps I was simply poor at noticing how they felt and caused them more trouble than I realized.