A day that left me speechless

While preparing tomorrow’s English listening practice this afternoon, I grew more and more frustrated. I could read the words, but my thoughts felt tangled, and I could not get anything done. After watching an episode, I went for a walk instead of staying in the café to code or do something else.

After the typhoon, the sun seemed to be smiling more brightly than anything in Guangzhou. Its light was almost aggressive. The clearer the sky, the more it irritated me: it seemed oblivious to the heaviness, restlessness, and disappointment on my face. I felt out of place among the people laughing in the street.

Before losing weight, I had bought clothes a size too large for a loose fit. Now that I am lighter than I have been as an adult, I look like a child wearing someone else’s clothes—or a character in Journey to the West. Out of place again.

I wondered why everyone around me seemed so happy. If their laughter was sincere and lasting, I would envy it. If it was only for show, perhaps I would rather put my energy into my own work.

I know a smile can be a good thing. Still, I see people laughing endlessly at things I find shallow, and I would rather spend more thought on what lasts. Short-lived distractions need not take up so much of my time 🫡

Do you see what I mean?