An unusual Monday

Only when it is time to leave do I feel at ease. Only when I can truly let go inside do I regain the easy manner I seem to have on the outside. Others cannot know what state I am in, but I do. If I casually publish a post, am I really writing it for anyone else? At most I am putting it out there to see how people respond to me in that moment. To find value or answers, I still have to look inward.

I realized something about my state of mind this morning, and an unfriendly, even slightly dark smile appeared on my face without my noticing. Luckily no one was nearby; I would have felt awkward. I may be nobody in particular now, but I know there is great value in keeping at what I am doing. So I do not dwell on where I stand today.

Time can do remarkable things, if you put enough of yourself into the long years. The results tend to be good, though the feedback can take very different lengths of time to arrive. But the process in between can be so hard…