Fear

When I feel helpless, I also feel weak and afraid, especially when my livelihood is involved. No person or company is perfect; there are always problems. Perhaps recognizing that is part of losing my illusions. I am gradually learning that I need to approach things with a steadier mind. Tension does not help, and panic is worse. Yet I keep falling into fear and worry, emotions that do little for me 🫠

Would writing it down help? Perhaps not much.

I am impatient by nature. As my teacher put it, my feelings often run ahead of my reason. So an event can make me far too happy or far too sad. That happens often enough. With ordinary events it may be manageable, but what if the news is not even true? If a supposedly good thing turns out to be false, I face a painful letdown. If a bad thing proves false, I have suffered for nothing. In a world of many connected causes and effects, the consequences of such reactions can grow over time.

Life may be hard because we cannot taste only its sweetness; bitterness is part of it too. Perhaps after experiencing both, I will become a little more easygoing…