An urgent, restless moment

I have been shaping several ideas into early product sketches. AI lets me test them faster and at lower cost. With money tight, I keep asking what matters most: put products into the world, leave a record of what I make, and gain experience that is my own.

I want results badly, and that urgency makes me work faster. I am less afraid of not earning money immediately than of letting time pass without finding what I truly want to do. I do not want to look back in old age and regret never committing myself to the work I love. Hard work and fatigue are bearable; drifting without a direction frightens me more.

I can hear the urgency in these sentences. Yet when I hope most intensely for something to work, it often does not. Perhaps this uncertainty is part of being young, part of life, or the part that tests my will. For me, the confusing period is the time before I find a purpose.

What does it mean to say society has “beaten” someone? Perhaps it is the pressure placed on a person with ambition but no financial independence. I do not yet think the hardship exceeds what I can bear.

I came home late tonight and remembered a small story. My company offered an $888 prize, roughly 6,000 yuan, to name a real-estate project in Cyprus. I entered seriously and thought my idea had a strong chance. Then a long-serving colleague asked for votes in the group chat. I disliked the tactic and assumed he would win.

When asked about it, he explained how much effort he had made:

“There was no other way. I have more than 6,000 WeChat contacts. I messaged 100 people individually, then asked my basketball team, football team, and family groups to vote.”

“The main thing is conviction: never give up before the very last moment.”

I did not expect to learn that from the contest.