March 25

I am increasingly aware of people confidently promoting work I think is poor. “Speak less and observe more” has begun to mean more to me. Listening gives me space to examine myself and the people around me. I have plenty of ideas and questions, and AI helps me explore them. Perhaps that is why I seem more introverted with people: I save my words—my “tokens”—for conversations that help me think. With AI, I am talkative.

Last night in my new home I felt the limits of the place keenly. I have been uneasy about the environment for some time. For my own peace of mind, I do not think I should stay there long. Time has also been tight, so for the past couple of days I have kept blog drafts in local notes rather than publishing them. Many ideas exist only in rough form, but that gives me a starting point when I can return to them.

I watched a video of a wealthy man advising young people to do what they truly love. What do I love? I may have an answer: research. I enjoy using it to make better decisions, help others, and contribute something useful. I am not entirely certain yet.

Last night I also saw a report that Zhang Xuefeng had died suddenly at forty-one. I was shaken. I read accounts of his intense workload and thought again about my own rest. I went to bed early but could not sleep until after eleven. Even a reminder to rest can become another thing to worry about.