Thoughts after twenty-four hours

I may be worrying more than ever: about low pay, doing my job badly, and financial pressure. For a whole day those concerns spoiled my state of mind. Looking back, nothing in the situation had changed. I spent the day struggling with what was already there, and I regret losing that time.

Perhaps many recent graduates go through this. I am not ashamed to say so. I am grateful, too, for people who listen and comfort me when things are hard. I want to repay them by acting on the work in front of me and making something of it, rather than only being moved by their kindness. Thinking of that gives me energy.

When I become negative, even ordinary tasks seem to go badly. I want to approach them with more hope. The project I am on is new and understaffed; people have left, and the large office feels eerily quiet. A recent meeting with the project leader helped me feel more alert and willing to try. I have learned that words can matter, and that their effect depends on the person, tone, and conviction behind them. Whom I listen to and whom I work with are choices worth making carefully.

Over the next week I want to regain my momentum, set a target, and break it into concrete steps. I can measure that fairly clearly for my media work. I still need a better way to do it in my main job.

The new year will take more than a slogan to go well. Still, each new reader and like on my articles delights me. I spend roughly three or four hours writing and polishing each one. Yesterday, the daily advertising income from views reached a new high. It was a small but tangible recognition of the work.