Wanting to write, without the energy to match

I was sitting in the office today and wanted to type some words, but my stomach just didn’t feel right and I felt a little nauseous. This state lasted for a long time and did not end. During this period, I drank tea to relieve my discomfort.

To be honest, it’s difficult to produce meaningful content in this state. Fortunately, I learned some new things by chatting with AI in the afternoon. Even though I was stuck in this disgusting state all day long, I still couldn’t accept it. Because compared to this kind of physical discomfort, the state of “doing nothing” will make me more unbearable.

I actually tried hard to think about some things today, but I just couldn’t think of anything truly valuable. Even so! But my perception ability today is still quite strong. I can clearly feel that I still have a strong desire to write and output, but I also know more strongly that my desire to output is so “fleeting”. Just when he was about to start a big fight, he turned around and lost all his energy. Although this state is rare, it also tells me from the side that I am actually facing a serious trivial problem. I’m not sure yet where the root cause of this situation is, but this state is definitely related to the fact that I didn’t fall asleep until two o’clock yesterday morning, even though I fell asleep much earlier last night…

In recent times, I can actually clearly tell that many things have not been done to my satisfaction, and even more to the point, some things have not even reached the passing line: fitness, writing class retraining, and planning for the next short winter vacation. I am also reflecting on these reasons why my frequency of going to the gym has dropped. I am considering the following very practical issues:

In terms of fitness: a. The long commute and extremely rough road conditions often make me face various situations of insufficient brain bandwidth and a very serious sense of urgency. It is also because of this that it is easy for me to be overwhelmed by a little accident that occurs before and after the incident, which affects my mood and energy for work. After all, if time is used to consume negative emotions, it will be more difficult to ensure positive returns in other aspects; b. There are not too few equipment per person in the gym. This resulted in me having to spend at least 30% of the ineffective waiting time in order to complete a set of training movements.

Writing class: I am still limited by the tight schedule, and I often don’t have time to take everything into consideration. But when I reflect on why I didn’t do it, I often fall into a state of self-blame. But when I think about it carefully and objectively afterwards, I will find that I did my best under the circumstances at that time.

Planning: Every year when there is still one month left before the Spring Festival holiday, I will think about what I will do in the next month. Although this year was no exception, what surprised me was that the closer I got to the holiday, the more confused I became. The clear target was like a transparent window on a house, suddenly obscured by a bunch of inexplicable and mixed unknown objects. This makes it difficult for me to see clearly what the decorations are inside. If I want to see clearly, I have to put in some effort to carry a large bucket filled with clean water, and wipe it violently and patiently with a rag for a long time.

Well, mainly the above three questions. After writing the above content, my mind seemed to have been “cleaned”, and a lot of bandwidth was released unconsciously. After all, I have a lot to do, but the prerequisite is that I must do it with a clear mind.