About calmness, seriousness, and not knowing what to do next

When I got up this morning, I found the cat running around and patting a small thing on the wall. At first I thought it was a mint ball attached to the wall, but then I saw the object being teased and moved back and forth by the cat, so my curiosity drove me to go forward and take a closer look: only to find out that it was the body of my little squirrel rat that had been growing for a long time and seemed to have outgrown it.

The first reaction was doubt. After all, why was the squirrel taken out by the cat when he was staying well in the breeding box? I turned around and looked at the breeding box: the lid was half open. Well, this is yet another rat disaster caused by carelessness. Although the person who did this was still the same person as last time, my inner peace was ahead of the “anger”. Only a second or two later, my brain quickly returned to a rational state. The “anger” at this moment has no “reasonableness”, and there is only the choice to calmly accept everything in front of you. After all, it happened. So what if you’re angry? What’s the point of holding others accountable? After all, my subjects and those of people other than me are separate, so I can do whatever I have to do…

There was something very disturbing in the afternoon, and it was really worth sulking on my own. Because when I was combing through the “fixed investment list” in the afternoon, I found that I couldn’t find three things that I would strive for in the next six months or even a year.

This is like a soldier carrying a loaded gun, walking awkwardly and speechlessly in “peaceful times.” The reason for this embarrassment is that this so-called “peace” is fake. The reason why I was speechless was because I forgot what I was going to do next while walking.

But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this. After all, boredom and leisure should be part of life. Deliberately spend some time strolling in the park: listening to the chirping of birds, smelling the scent of flowers, and spending an afternoon relaxing with a cup of coffee are all precious things in life. But when I was seriously planning my next schedule, I found that I had nothing to do, which made me feel a little uncomfortable…

For example, it takes a long time to figure out what you want to do next, but it also shows that you haven’t thought about your future seriously recently.

Well, what else can I say? Continue to acquiesce to all this happening without expression. As time goes by, it becomes easier for me to lose the “cuteness” of my “playful smile”.

I have really felt this state in many situations recently! It seems that in order to do better, I have subconsciously become accustomed to being “serious”. I often try to blend into the cheerful atmosphere on many occasions, but I often feel embarrassed because I can’t laugh or create an atmosphere. This kind of self seems to have said goodbye to too many happy places unknowingly…

Choices have opportunity costs. I have always been accustomed to being all in everything. Although I have gained a lot from this, I have also often suffered a lot of hidden losses. After all, many things are not black and white, especially people. Therefore, when dealing with and responding to many things, if you lose the necessary “smoothness”, you will appear to be too “stupid”.

For a long time in the past, I have firmly denied the “smooth” style of doing things. Now, I just feel that it was a manifestation of my previous “not thinking well”.

After all, everything above is a true reflection of my heart at this moment. I never feel embarrassed about many things, although it doesn’t seem that way to my friends.

But who makes people like us focus more on ourselves? So I just kept thinking about it day after day. It’s funny to say that I often feel suddenly that I am the only one in this world…